Just Great
by Nicrafetix
Summary: AKUROKU: Summer Camp doesn't normally seem like an exciting prospect. Being treated like a three-year-old when you are blatantly not is just infuriating. On the bright side, you might find something you weren't expecting. If you're lucky. RikuSora Zemyx.
1. Day One, Part One

J**u**St **G**r_3_a_**T**_

**author's note: **_oh my god it's a new story! i love new stories i really like this one i hope you do too! it's got my usual cracky sense of humour and lovely lovely pairings and plotlines. oohhh i love it and i really can't wait to hear what you think of it!_

On that note, this is a new story. I hope you like it. I did have another story under this title and the same vague plot, but I deleted it because it really wasn't going to work. So, yeah, the first bit it almost the same actually. What do you know? If you like my story 'girlfriends' I'm sure you'll like this. I hope you enjoy it!

disclaimer: seriously, you would know if I owned kingdom hearts. trust me, you would. bhahaha.

warning: doods, have you seen the pairings? It's yaoi, you know, BOYxBOY no likey, no readey. comprehende?

Chapter One: Joy of Joys

**Day One. Part One.**

Axel banged his head on the tinted window of the limousine. Riku blinked as though he'd been living in the dark for several days and someone had lit up a fairground right in front of him. Demyx, who had probably been snorting sugar again, bounced happily in his seat, grinning manically, and Larxene merely sniffed.

"We're _here_!" Demyx squealed, causing Riku to hiss in pain as one of the blonde's hands flew up and smacked him full in the face in his excitement. Riku, rubbing the sore part of his face where Demyx had smacked him, leaned forward in his seat and spoke to the chauffeur, "How long are we here for again?"

The chauffeur, who's name tag read 'Jeffery', turned his gaze so he could see them though the spotless rear-view mirror, "About a week; or as long as it takes," he sneered evilly. You could almost see the 'I-R-EVIL' glint in his eyes and the fluffy white cat. (It was more likely, however, that someone had been watching a little too much _James Bond_).

Axel banged his head on the window again. Larxene sniffed contemptuously, turning her head away from the vaguely interesting red-head, "Why did _I _have to come? _I _didn't do anything!"

'Jeffery' shot her a sharp look, which she shot right back making him cower in his seat in a complete character change. "A-all right now… I-I'm just doing my job!" He said, holding his hands up defensively.

Larxene rolled her eyes (probably in disappointment of not getting a proper retort that could start a fight) and turned back to look out of the window, a look of mild disgust forming on her face.

Demyx was still bouncing in his seat like there was no tomorrow. He waved happily, slapping Riku in the face again, as a cheerful face appeared at Axel's window, making the red-head recoil slightly. The said cheerful person waved extremely enthusiastically, the merry grin permanently glued to her face like one of those scary clowns they have at fairs. Axel banged his head on the window a third time as the scary-clown-person-thing signaled, enthusiastically, for them to get out of the car. Demyx squealed and got out, very nearly knocking Larxene out as he hurriedly clambered over her. Larxene glared maliciously at the back of his head.

"All right, get out n-" 'Jeffery' started to say, but when Larxene turned to look at him he stopped abruptly: it wasn't nice to be on the receiving end of one of her death glares.

Axel, who appeared to have had enough, yanked his door open and got out. He leant against the limo, which was causing a lot of curious looks to be shot in their direction, and pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. He popped it into his mouth and was about to light it when another worker yanked it out of his mouth.

"No smoking here." He said, waggling a fat finger at Axel as if he were a of three-year-old. Axel glared at him and was about to yell something back when Riku opened the door, knocking him off balance. He smacked into the worker who fell into what was, unfortunately, a rather muddy puddle. Axel smirked and yanked his cigarette triumphantly back off the helpless worker before he could get up.

Demyx bounded over to them as Larxene, unwillingly, got out of the limo. "I can't believe they made us come here!" She said, glaring at the others and telepathically telling them that they were going to pay for this, in an extremely painful way.

"Hey. It's not just our fault you know! I bet you did something to!" Riku retorted, nodding at her as if to say 'just try and prove me wrong, bitch'.

Larxene glared at him, and then said, "Well, Axel set fire to your chair in the recording studio because you were pissing him off. Then Demyx tried to put it out by throwing the water dispenser over the flames but he missed and the water went all over the equipment, _and_ our manager. As you should well know by now at _least_, neither electronics, nor our manager, go well with water."

Riku smirked, unfazed, "But you were the one who 'accidentally' knocked Dem!"

Demyx, who was looking slightly perplexed, mumbled, "I thought we were supposed to be punished for that?"

Larxene rolled her eyes and smacked him on the side of his head, "This _is_ the punishment, you stupid boy!"

Demyx's mouth formed a round 'o' of realisation before he said, "But this is gonna be _fun_!" He gestured wildly around at the surroundings, which - to be honest - weren't very nice at all, unless, perhaps, bleak, muddy countryside and loud banners were your idea of heaven. The bright colours glowered at them and the scary-clown-workers were so happy it was almost intimidating. Pre-teens were helping the workers enthusiastically; most of the ones that looked near enough to their age were standing around looking bored and disbelieving at their bad luck, just like they were.

"Demyx, your idea of fun is seeing how many egg rolls you can shove in your pie-hole at once," Larxene said, raising an eyebrow.

Demyx, who looked slightly offended, whined. "But egg rolls are so _nice_! _Everyone_ loves them!"

"Our manager doesn't," Riku pointed out.

The dirty blonde frowned before muttering, "What a moron."

Riku laughed at this, Larxene smirked and muttered something about the feeling being mutual, even Axel cracked a grin.

Demyx stared at the red-head, "Wow, Axel, you're_ almost_ looking happy!"

Axel frowned at him, retorting, "Am not."

"Are too!" Demyx yelled childishly.

"Am _not_!" Axel said folding his arms across his chest.

"Are t-hey!" Larxene slapped the back of Demyx's head, hard, thus ending the childish argument.

Axel _had_ been acting really moody lately. He'd get pissed off at the slightest thing and then he'd set something on fire. That was the only way he could calm down again. So, that's partly why they'd ended up in a shitty summer camp. What cahoots. Not only did they have to spend time in a shitty summer camp, but the said shitty summer camp was right in the other side of the god damn country. Their manager had said it would be 'good for them to get away from where they lived'. Maybe there would be less chance of being recognised here. By the looks of things so far, most of these people didn't look like the type to be 'in' on the new 'hip' music. And, alas, they wouldn't be able to even practice their music, not that they would particularly _want_ to. That's right, because, you see, Axel, Riku, Larxene and Demyx made up the band called 'The Orgy'. Lord knows, why such a ridiculous name had been chosen. It would just make the whole world think that they were sex-mad maniacs and, therefore, as they were famous they would inspire all the small children that listened to them obsessively and wanted to be 'just like them' when they grew up to follow in their footsteps. They'd been together for just over two years now, and they needed a 'holiday' or, in other words, they'd pissed off their manager. So they got shipped off to a lovely summer camp.

Oh. The joy.

"Can you all put these on please?" It was more of an instruction than a question. They stared down at the fluorescent yellow/orange/green t-shirts in disgust. They were all printed with the words 'Happy Camper' on the front and the back. Of course, Demyx was the only one stupid enough to actually put his on. But, as Larxene stated, it was certainly true in his case.

As soon as the scary-clown-person-worker-thing had gone they quickly 'lost' the shirts. Riku actually _made_ Demyx take his off by saying that if he wore it he would never be able to eat egg rolls again. The sad thing is; it actually worked.

Five minutes, a group of screaming fan girls (and boys) and a posse of chavs later, they found their cabin. They stopped and stared, open-mouthed. A damp, dank, dirty log cabin would be their new… home? For the next however-long-it-took.

Larxene sniffed disapprovingly, then made them follow her inside.

The first thing Riku did - being the metro sexual man - cough, pansy - he truly is, was to run into the shower room. He screamed and ran back out. "Do you realise that we have to SHARE SHOWERS!"

Axel rolled his eyes in annoyance, Larxene smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand and Demyx giggled.

"As in, go in at the same time?" The, male, blonde said, still giggling.

Larxene slapped the back of his head, "No, you IDIOT! Riku means he's a rich, sissy little fruit that has never had to use a shower that other people use at well."

Riku stared open-mouthed, seeming slightly hurt, at Larxene who shot him a death glare, and Demyx - predictably - giggled nervously.

Axel smirked slightly, dumping his bag on the nearest bed. "Don't worry Riku. We're not here for long. Soon we'll be going to a place with no showers at all."

Riku gave Axel a look of pure horror before scowling and stomping out of the room in a little, girly tantrum. Man, they had really been spoilt over the past two years.

Larxene turned to Axel, looking at him suspiciously, "Are you serious?"

Axel nodded, "We're going kayaking. We only have tonight here, then we go in the morning."

Larxene, who still seemed unconvinced, asked him how he knew.

Axel pointed to the sign that was on the back of the door that any idiot could have noticed. It read:

_Your kayaking course will commence tomorrow. You will meet your group leaders who will look after you for the duration on the course and will take a mini bus to your station. Enjoy your stay, happy campers!_

Larxene wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Why do they call us 'Happy Campers'? Do we _look_ happy? Or camp for that matter."

Axel shook his head, shrugged and went after Riku. Larxene rolled her eyes, again, and then turned to Demyx, smirking slightly, "Well, it looks like it's just… you and me."

Demyx laughed a rather nervous and high-pitched laugh and sidled out of the room. Larxene raised her eyebrows, shaking her head at his behaviour. She wandered off in the direction of the shower, wondering if they really _would _have to spend a whole week without a shower.

"Why are you so _bothered_ about the whole 'one shower between the four of us' thing anyway?" The red-head inquired, sitting down on a rickety bed next to the silvery-haired boy.

Riku turned to him, looking genuinely shocked, before grinning, "Because Demyx will probably have broken the shower by the time we get back and this hair doesn't look like this naturally, you know."

Axel smirked as the platinum blonde boy flicked his hair to show just how 'fantastic' it really was. "So _modest_." he mocked sarcastically.

"I do try."

Axel laughed, and laid down on the bed. "Man, I'm bushed; I could sleep for a week."

**- -page-break- -**

"Oh my god! Look! A signpost! We're nearly there! Ahh! This is going to be so good! I can just tell we're going to make new friends and find adventure and everyone will be really really happy, just like it says in the manual!" the brunette's eyes were strangely bright and the constant bouncing he was doing in his seat didn't seem to be taking any energy out of him in the slightly, which was rather unfortunate for the other passengers in the car.

"Hey _Roxas_! It's a _laurel_ tree! They used the leaves of them in Roman times to make these wreath things that important people wore and - Roxas? Roxaaasss! Listen to meee!"

The said blonde turned his attention to his twin with a blank expression, "No."

Sora pouted, "But Roxie!"

"No."

"Roxas, friends _listen_ to each other!" he began tugging on the blonde's right sleeve insistently.

Roxas scowled at him, he paused as though he was contemplating what Sora had said, "No."

"You're not being a very nice brother, Roxas. Maybe I'll _disown_ you and get someone else to be my twin brother. Yeah, I'll get a _replacement_ for you," he said tapping Roxas' nose and cackling in a way that made him either look quite insane or slightly deluded. Though, when you got to know him better you'd realise the truth: he was both.

Roxas slapped Sora's hand away from his face, "Sora. It is not possible for you to disown me. Unfortunately, I will always be your twin because those two idiots," he indicated their parents sitting in the front of the car, "decided to get together and have a good old sha-"

"Roxas," his father cut across him in a warning tone. You didn't argue when he used That Voice.

"Roxas, dear. Do listen to your brother. You know how much he likes talking to you," his mother said timidly, looking at him through the rear view mirror.

Sora looked at him hopefully, his eyes sparkling.

Roxas rolled his eyes in defeat, "Fine."

Sora made a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a hiccup and a squeal and waved his arms around, batting Roxas in the face.

"Look, Roxas! I can _see_ it now! We're _here_! This is so cool, I love it here Roxas."

Roxas tuned his brother's voice out; knowing that if he grunted in agreement every few minutes Sora wouldn't notice a thing. He looked out of the window and practically groaned in disgust. The harshly bright colours glared down at him, seeming a hundred times worse than they had had the previous year. And every other year for that matter.

Maybe it was because he hadn't been in such a foul mood on his way to "Camp Adventure" every other year. It could also be the fact that his best friend Hayner wasn't going to be there this year. His parents had, forcefully, placed him in summer school when the grades from his finals had come out. Roxas had found it hilarious at the time, but right now: he was definitely not laughing.

He scowled again as he saw a sea of people wearing the usual fluorescent bibs that read "Happy Camper". He watched an instructor tapping on the window of a limo and raised his eyebrows, wondering who on Earth was stupid enough to turn up in a car that would almost definitely get keyed. Whoever it was must be completely and utterly insane. Speaking of which…

Roxas turned his head to look at Sora who had clambered out of the car and was now talking to a boy with dirty blonde hair and went by the name of Tidus.

The blonde's scowl softened as he spotted an auburn-haired girl jumping up and down and waving at him. He muttered a goodbye to his parents who chorused back, "Goodbye, hunny. We love you." and climbed out of the car.

He almost smiled as she walked up to him and hugged him warmly.

"God, Roxas! I hardly recognised you at first, you've changed so much!"

Roxas grinned lopsidedly, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, "Uh, thanks, Kairi. I think," he blinked at her for a bit, she looked almost exactly the same as when he last saw her except maybe a little older perhaps and more, well, developed, "You, err, haven't changed much."

"Nope," she latched on to his arm and began tugging him away, grinning, "Come on, let's go before you get given a bib. _I_ know that you're a happy camper, but you don't really want to proclaim it to the rest of the world."

"Damn. They wouldn't really make us wear them now, would they? I mean, we're practically adults. We're just at a shitty camp because our parents are evil, sadistic people who want rid of us for some of summer vacation." He said, almost in a monotone.

"Pssh. Of course they would. Look." She pointed to a group of workers forcing the ugly garments onto a group of poor souls.

"Damn. You're right," Roxas frowned, "I hate it when you're right."

Kairi snorted and laughed shortly, "That's because I'm always right."

"Exactly." He concluded.

He grinned at her as she shook her head in amusement. In the distance he could see some of the other 'regulars', the people that were forced to come almost every year. Camp Adventure was all about making new friends, and Roxas had certainly done that. And right now, he couldn't wait to see them again. After all, it's had been a while.

**-xxx-**

a**uthor's note: **wow. That was a pretty long chapter, wasn't it? So, yeah, if you want me to continue with this story PLEASE review. Otherwise it is much less likely to be continued. Probably. Anyhoo. I'll be seeing you later.

Read, review, party, enjoy life.

nirii xx


	2. Day One, Part Two

J**u**St **G**r_3_a_**T**_

**Author's Note: **Jolly bananas! I'm back! I'm glad those beautiful people that read chapter one enjoyed it and I hope that they enjoy this chapter also. A special thanks goes to: **123 **(anonymous reviewer), **SkyeFlyte**, **lamatikah**, **Rikku2233** (another anonymous reviewer), **Natsu Yoru Mainaloll** and finally **d00mPuppet **for reviewing, you guys rock. Also, I would like to thank anyone who added this story to his or her favourites or their alert list. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much indeed.

**Disclaimer: **Gah. I wish.

Chapter Two: I'd Rather Suffocate Myself

**Day One. Part Two.**

Axel did not want to leave the cabin. It was his (temporary) safe heaven and there was no way he was going to let anyone bully him into leaving it. Not even if wild beasts wearing grass skirts and coconut bras were traumatising Demyx. Though, that would be very tempting.

"Axel, we've gotta go meet our instructor guys and the other people in our group. Come on." Riku called to him.

Riku was a bastard. An obsessive hair washing, camp, gay, paedophilic bastard. At least, he could be when Axel was extremely pissed off. When Axel was just in a normal mood, however, he was just Riku. Good old gay, funny, still camp, Riku. But not a bastard. And still paedophilic, his favourite target being poor defenseless young brunette boys. He was a sucker for blue eyes too, apparently.

"Axey! Hurry up; I wanna see _everything_ in this place! It's so, um, big and tree-y!"

Demyx was a pathetic idiot. A stupid, whiney, annoying, pathetic idiot. But he was okay really. When you got over the whole 'mental age of an immature two year old thing'. He could be positively fun at times. Like when he was willing to let Axel set his hair on fire.

"Come the fuck on, Axel!" Larxene shrieked at him.

Larxene was a-

"Arrgh! Get the fuck off my fucking hair! You crazy bitch!" Axel almost screamed as the devil in disguise (a blonde wig) pulled him out of the door by his flaming red hair.

Sometimes Axel thought that he must have done something terrible in a past life to secure a relationship with someone like Larxene in this one. Something absolutely awful like unleashing a paedophile in a place where all the children in the world were gathered for no apparent reason.

"Stop being such a frickin' baby." Larxene muttered, letting go of him when they stepped outside. She watched as he attempted to tidy up his hair again with his thin fingers. "That's not going to work." She told him.

"Go get some friends." He scowled at her but did not stop his attempts. His hair was his one of his pride and joys and he wanted it to look good, damn it.

"Why are you even bothering? Does it really matter what you look like? There is no one who is even the _slightest_ bit attractive here. Not that _I've_ noticed anyway." She grumbled, scowling at him as though it was somehow his fault. "Besides, if there actually _are_ any decent looking guys, Riku will have already found one and decided that he will obsess over him for the whole of the trip and Demyx will have secured another by betting him that he can't beat him in an eating competition."

Axel shrugged, "Whatever. Where are Demyx and Riku anyway?"

"Gone off somewhere. Probably got lost. And died. In a bush. Eh, shame, I could have sold Riku's hair on E-Bay."

"Right, and you're not even the slightest bit cynical," he raised his eyebrows at her as she grinned maliciously.

Yes, Larxene was an evil, sadistic, crazy, pain-inducing bitch, though she was vaguely amusing at times. Like the time she helped him set Demyx's hair on fire.

Axel stared ahead of him. He could make out Riku and Demyx standing with three other people - two men and a woman - who were all wearing Camp Adventure T-Shirts. He guessed they were instructors, most likely students trying to pay their tuition fees or had just finished college, looking for a decent job and trying to pay off their student loans.

One was rather short, spotty and gangly. His short hair was flat and lacked volume, Riku would be lecturing him all week. Axel felt rather sorry for him as he had round, thick glasses that slipped down his nose so he had to push them back up every few seconds and a very prominent Adam's apple. He had probably been stereotyped as a geek in two seconds flat when he stepped into High School. Poor guy.

The next man couldn't have been more different. He was your token tall, dark and handsome guy. Axel raised his eyebrows at the amount of belts he has secured around his hips, what there some kind of new cult he didn't know about?

The girl - who was currently engaging Riku and Demyx in an in depth conversation - was around medium height, tanned, had her blonde hair tied up in a messy pony tail and wore a pair of tatty black and white converse on her feet. She had a clipboard in one hand that looked about ready to fly out of her loose grip and hit some poor soul - hopefully Larxene - in the face. Axel could tell that she was going to get on well with Demyx.

"Oh god. This is gonna be so _gay_," Larxene grumbled, shaking her head and placing a hand on her temple.

"Shut the fuck up, Larxene," Axel scolded her. No one was allowed to call anything 'gay' when it wasn't 'gay', unless it's a person. It's just stupid _and_ politically incorrect.

"Go take your butt plug out, Ax," she muttered, smirking slightly.

Axel glared her, sending an obscene hand gesture in her direction, "One day you'll wish it was only a _butt plug_ that was pissing me off."

"Oh my god! Is that Axel from The Orgy?"

"It _so_ is! He's _so hot_!"

"I _know_, right."

"I wonder if he's an instructor…?"

"Ohmy_god_! I hope so!"

"I sure wouldn't mind learning a few things from him!"

"Oh my god, Karen! You're so _rude_!"

Giggles.

Damn fans.

Axel smirked at the two girls who were giggling and staring at him in some kind of awe. He winked at them - just for fun - and snorted as both of their jaws dropped. He followed after Larxene, leaving them to their newly sprung argument about who he had been winking at.

"Ha! I do believe that I've actually heard everything now!"

He looked up to see the blonde woman - who he presumed was one of their instructors - laughing so hard that she was actually going weak at the knees and clutching her stomach.

"What's going on?" he asked, shooting Riku a questioning look. There was no point in asking Demyx; he was too busy 'playing' with the nearest juniper tree.

Riku shrugged a little dejectedly, "She asked why we'd been sent here, the whole story."

"Hmpf. Well I'm glad _someone_ finds it entertaining," Larxene muttered darkly, glaring at the three instructors. The blonde didn't take any notice of her, continuing to shriek with laughter. The two men - who had been cracking grins and trying not to laugh - immediately turned their attention to her.

"You two must be the other half of this 'band'." The tall, dark one said, looking from Axel to Larxene with an amused smiling playing around his face.

"Yes. We are." Larxene confirmed, scowling at him and crossing her arms, "Who're you?"

The shorter man cleared his throat, sending his Adam's apple shooting up and down like a ping-pong ball, pushed his glasses up his nose and grinned, showing a lot of wonky teeth in the process, "We are going to be your instructors for this trip. I'm-"

"I wasn't talking to you." Larxene snapped at him, causing him to practically fall over backwards in shock.

"I- I- Sorry." He said, holding his arms up defensively.

"Hey, don't be such a pushover, Adam," the blonde woman - who had finally stopped laughing - said patting him friendly on the back, "You're Larxene, right? I'm Jess, that's Leon," she pointed to the tall brunette, "and this is Adam." She patted the shorter man's shoulder again. He winced in pain.

"So, you're the people in charge of us?" Axel asked, looking at Adam doubtfully.

"Yep!" Man, our group is gonna kick ass this year. _Everyone_ wanted this group when they saw who was in it. But _we_ were the ones that got chosen," she claimed proudly.

"Err, okay. We're not the only people in the group, are we?" Riku asked, edging away from the steaming Larxene.

"Are you crazy? Why would there be three of us looking after four kids?" Jess looked at him as if he had just put on a Viking helmet and a learner drivers sign and claimed that he now wanted to be known as Rikina.

"We're not _kids_." Larxene hissed, giving her a scathing look.

"Shut up. Never interrupt me again." Jess said, glaring at her as if she had just committing a terrible crime. Axel was almost taken aback at the ferocity of her stare; it could give Larxene a run for her money any day.

Larxene's mouth twitched into a triumphant smirk and Axel knew that she was pleased that there was someone here that wouldn't let herself be pushed around all the time.

"Anyway, there are… hmm," she scanned the clipboard in her hand, "six more people in our group. We've just gotta wait for them to turn up."

Leon looked at the list of names on the clipboard over her shoulder, "I recognise some of these names. Regulars." He said, nodding.

"Regulars? You mean people actually come to this shit hole every year?" Axel asked, screwing his face up in mild disgust.

"Oh yes," Adam brightened up considerably, hitching his glasses up again, "we provide a tremendous range of activities. Some people do the same thing every year, wanting to improve their skills in a certain area and others try a new activity every time."

"That's _great_!" Larxene said with sarcastic enthusiasm. She regarded Adam with a look of utter distain, like most people would upon finding that they had trodden in some dog crap, not realised, come into the house and got it all over the carpet. He nodded at her encouragingly and she rolled her eyes, cracking her gum in an annoyed fashion.

"Do ya reckon they're the other people in our group?" Demyx asked, excitedly indicating a group of six people walking towards them. There were four boys and two girls. "I wanna meet them!" he cried, grinning around brightly at them all.

Axel squinted at them, blinked then whistled and grinned over at Larxene.

"What's that you were saying about there being no hot guys around here?"

"Oh, Axel," she simpered fakely, "Don't you know the little blonde one?" she grinned sadistically as the red-head frowned then his face dropped.

"Fuck."

**- - page-break - -**

"I don't get why we have to meet everyone now, anyway. I mean, why couldn't they leave it until tomorrow when we leave for the lake? All they do now is make everyone say their name and then leave. It's so lame," Roxas complained.

"I'll second that," Kairi muttered. She rose an eyebrow at Sora and Tidus's 'who can look more like a chicken' contest. If she had been listening to their conversation, she would have realised that they were in fact doing a very accurate impression of Barney the Dinosaur - also known as the "Purple Paedophile".

"Why isn't Pence in our group this year?" a bubbly brunette called Selphie asked, linking arms with both Kairi and Roxas.

"No idea," Roxas lied, though he smirked slightly as Kairi caught his eye.

Selphie noticed this and frowned. She looked between them, turning her head each direction several times as though she was watching a compelling tennis match, a look of annoyed confusion plastered on her face. "Come on, tell me what you know!" she commanded.

"We think he's trying to impress Olette. He's gone on the climbing course with her," Kairi blurted out, grinning.

When Roxas caught her eye again they both looked away hastily, biting back their laughter. Just the thought of Pence climbing up a cliff face with Olette belaying him made Roxas crack up.

"Hey!" Selphie punched him lightly, "You guys are awful. I think that it's really sweet," she claimed, and then added as an afterthought, "Do you reckon they'll get it on?"

"_Selphie_!" Kairi groaned, slapping a hand to her cranium in both annoyance and amusement.

"What?" she said innocently, "Pence isn't _that_ bad looking, y'know. Especially since he started going to the gym last year. I think him and Olette would make a really cute couple."

"Pssh. Yeah, sure they would," Roxas said, snorting and waving his hand through the air loftily, "It's just, how blind is Olette to flirting? She doesn't even notice when someone is making a really obvious advance on her. I mean, remember that time in Junior High when she got herself a stalker? She thought he was after her homework."

Kairi nodded, "He has a point, Selph."

"Well, maybe he should just do something really straightforward. Like… Find a clearing in the forest and light all these lovely scented candles and put them on the ground so they spell out 'I love you' and then kiss her and-"

She scowled as Kairi and Roxas interrupted her with howls of laughter.

"_What_ is so _funny_?" she whined, flailing her arms around wildly. "I think that would be really romantic!"

Roxas grinned at her, wiping tears of laughter from under his eyes as he came to the end of his fit, "Yeah, sure it would. It's just," he made eye contact with Kairi again and smirked, "it's Pence."

Kairi snorted. She quickly rearranged her face into a sorry expression when Selphie frowned disapprovingly at her.

"I feel really sorry for Pence," Selphie muttered under her breath, shaking her head at her two friends either side of her. "You two are so mean about him!"

"We-We're joking, Selphi-_hehehehe-e_!" Kairi said, attempting to hold back the laughter that was forcing its way out. "I'm sure Pen- I'm sure Pence will do ju-just great and he-he'll r-r-r-ro-romance - hahahahaha! - wi-with Olette just fine."

Selphie rolled her eyes, muttering that she officially 'gave up', "You alright there, Zexy?" she called behind her to the shortish bluey/grey haired boy.

"Hmm. Fine," he replied.

"Sure?"

He nodded.

Selphie smiled brightly back at him. She was used to his monosyllabic answers and didn't worry; he was probably just brooding over something.

"Who d'ya reckon we'll have for instructors this year?" Selphie wondered aloud.

Kairi groaned, "I hope we don't have Adam as our first-aider again. He's so creepy."

"Oh, come on, he's not that bad! He's just a little-"

"Scrawny?" Roxas filled in helpfully. Selphie rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously, Selph, he's creepy. I swear he tried to feel me up last year."

Selphie shrugged indifferently, "Whatever. I just hope we've got Leon. He's so dreamy." She sighed.

"Hmmm… yeeahh," Kairi smiled, "he really is."

"Erlack." Roxas screwed his face up at them in disgust. "Please don't have this conversation in front of me. I have no problem with you doing this, but not when _I'm here_," he insisted.

Selphie ignored him, "He's got such strong arms, and such nice abs and he's so _gorgeous_! Ooh, just imagine-"

"Tidus! Your girlfriend is mooning over another guy!" Roxas shouted.

The blonde's head snapped around and he shot over to Selphie's side. She beamed at him.

"Aww, you're so possessive, Tidy-Widy!" she declared, throwing her arms around his neck. He grinned and shot Roxas a 'what the hell were you talking about?' look. Selphie was so damn good at making him oblivious to anything she said or did she didn't want him to know about.

"I had to shut her up _somehow_!" Roxas said defensively, "I thought I was gonna barf."

"Like the time when you went into our parent's room to with them happy Valentine's Day and you saw them doing _naughty things_!" Sora reminded him, bounding along happily.

They all imagined this scene too vividly and groaned. Many cries of 'Sora!' and 'gross' were sounded.

"Ooh! I see our group!" Selphie shrieked happily.

Sure enough, Roxas could see an instructor waving at them and signaling for them to some over.

"Looks like you got your wish, Selph, Leon's there." Roxas said, grinning as Tidus scowled over at the instructor.

"And it looks like you got yours too, Rox! It's Adam! The love of your life!"

"Shut the hell up, Selphie." He pouted at her, folding his arms across his chest, "There is no way I am going to hurt myself this time. I am not letting him touch me or even come anywhere near me."

"Why? It's not like he's a pedo or something," Sora stated obliviously.

"Err, yes, Sora. But he's just… there's something weird about him," Kairi said, shuddering slightly.

"It's because he's got spots, isn't it?" Tidus said, eyeing her suspiciously.

The redhead squeaked.

"Yep. She can't even stand the word." Tidus decided, grinning triumphantly.

Roxas chucked, "What you would call it? The fear of spots… Acnephobia?"

Sora burst into a peel of manic laughter. Roxas raised his eyebrows at him, worried for his poor twin's sanity (and it wasn't the first time).

Suddenly and without warning, Kairi stopped dead in her tracks, causing an oblivious Sora (who was still laughing) to smack right into her. Roxas shot her a questioning glance.

"…Kairi?"

She didn't seem to hear him. Or if she did she didn't respond in any way. Her mouth opened and closed several times, making her hold a resemblance to a fish out of water, gasping for air.

"Do you think we would be able to change groups?" she eventually asked, biting her bottom lip.

"It's a bit late, isn't it?" Tidus said, giving her a 'what the hell' look.

"I know, I just don't think that, err, that kayaking is my thing." she mumbled lamely.

"But, you _love _kayaking!" Roxas insisted, completely bewildered.

"Yeah, I do," she shot a worried glance at Roxas, "but-"

"Oh my god!" Selphie squealed, pointing over to their group, "It's that guy from that band!"

Sora looked up, "What band?"

"The Orgy!"

Roxas' eyes widened in realisation, "Oh fuck."

"He's so _hot_!" she shrieked, latching on to Tidus' arm tightly.

"Which one? That's the whole band." Zexion pointed out monosyllabically.

Roxas gulped, "Shit."

"I can't believe they are _here_! And in _our_ group too!" Selphie giggled manically, smoothing her glossy brown hair self-consciously. "How do I look, Tidus?"

Tidus narrowed his eyes at the 'guy' his girlfriend had been referring to. He didn't know which 'guy' it was but he knew that he was an unlikeable bastard.

"You look hot- no. You- you look beautiful. Really beautiful, just like you always do." Oh. Yes. Tidus was an undeniable sex god and excelled in the refined art of flattery.

"Aww, thanks, Tidy-Widy!" she blushed happily and pecked him on the cheek, grabbing hold of his hand; all thoughts of the "hot guy" forgotten. Who would have thought something Tidus came up with would work so well?

Roxas looked up at the group, choked then looked back down at his shoes again.

Kairi had a really bad feeling about this as one of the instructors raced up to them, she recognised her as the infamous: Jess.

"_Guys!_ It's good to see you all! Let me introduce you all to your group members. This is Riku, Axel- hey! Where're you going?" Jess pulled Roxas back before he managed to get out of the camp, state, world, universe, etcetera, etcetera. Roxas looked at her moodily.

"Okay, anyway guys. They're Axel, Riku, Demyx and Larxene. But, of course, you know that because" for one horrible, stupid second Roxas thought she was going to say it, "they're a super-famous band!"

Roxas let off a sigh of relief, even though - deep down - he had known that she wasn't going to say it, because how could she know? Not even Kairi or Hayner knew the _full_ story.

"Now, go and greet them, my young minions."

Nobody moved a muscle.

"I _said_ GO AND GREET THEM!" she screeched, putting on her scary I Am Better Than You voice.

They all shuffled away from her nervously.

"Good for nothing lumps of human." She muttered darkly under her breath.

"Axel! I haven't seen you for _ages! _How have you been?" Sora cried, throwing himself at the red-head.

The red-head in question laughed awkwardly and patted the brunette on the back.

"I didn't know you knew these guys." Tidus commented, blinking rapidly under Larxene's harsh stare.

"Oh yeah! We go _waaayyy_ back! But for some reason we hush it all up and don't mention it." Sora said the last part with a tone of confusion edging his voice.

Roxas blushed and looked down at his shoes, rocking nervously on his feet.

There was a long awkward pause until Adam broke the silence by saying:

"So! I am Adam and I'm your first aider for the trip."

There was a loud groan.

**-xXx-**

**Author's note: **I love Jess. She's awesome because you have no idea what she would be like so you can make up her character. She is the woman from the accesory shop in KH2, in case you didn't know. :D

So, good, bad? Let me know!

read, review, party, enjoy life...

nirii xx


	3. Day Two, Part One

J**u**St **G**r_3_a_**T**_

**Author's Note: **OHMYGODDDD. My mother got me these fish oil tablets that I have to take every morning now because I "don't concentrate properly" and now I can't get to sleep for ageeessss and have way too much energy. Is it just because I've been in a really good mood all week or is there something in these tablets that the packet doesn't mention? Hmmm… Hey, a BIG jar of cookies for the person who can guess what's made me be in a good mood all week.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Kingdom Hearts I would not need to write FanFiction, would I.

Chapter Three: Wheels on the Bus

**Day Two. Part One.**

Roxas leant against the door, cautiously listening for any sign that the room was occupied. He cocked the gun with his left hand, his right index finger stiffened around the trigger. He glanced over his shoulder. No sign of the guards. They must not have been alerted yet. He winked, smirking, at the figure of the thrashing butler tied to a handy nearby marble pillar.

His left hand reached out for the gleaming brass doorknob. He took a sharp intake of breath, closing his eyes briefly, perhaps thinking a silent prayer… Then he suddenly shoved the glossy white door open and raised his gun in front of him, so he was now holding it firmly with both hands, all in one swift movement, aiming at the back of a large, ordinate, black leather chair. There was a short cackle of laughter that would have made small children cry.

"I have been expecting you."

The chair turned and Roxas felt a wave of revulsion wash over him as his eyes rested on the scarred face of his target. A pale, fat hand stroked that well-groomed, white Persian cat that rested on his weak lap.

"The name's Yagami. Roxas Yagami.

He smirked, not lowering his gun. The scarred man's face twitched into some sort of expression that vaguely resembled amusement.

"I am going to kill you, Mr. Yagami."

Roxas began to retort but refrained as his vision snapped up to the door that had just burst open to reveal two bald men in matching black suits dragging a tall brunette in a clingy red dress and an empty holster strapped to her mid-thigh with them. He mentally groaned, talk about being inappropriately dressed for the occasion.

"Roxas! You must do it! Don't worry about me! You have to save the world!" she cried, struggling against the two men holding her back.

"Roxas! Roxas!"

Why was her voice suddenly getting deeper?

"Roxas? Hello?"

Roxas felt a sharp slap across his left cheek.

"What! What?"

He sprang up from his pillows in alarm, only to be greeted by the blurry - yet definitely nervous - face of his roommate: Tidus.

"Um… Everyone is waiting for you," he mumbled, shuffling around the room. Roxas blinked at him, trying to unblur his vision so he could see Tidus clearly.

"What?"

"Everyone's on the bus already. Jess says you need to errm… 'get your whiny little ass' over there," he gulped.

Roxas rolled his eyes and sighed, throwing the poor excuse for a duvet cover off his body and rolling out of bed. "Why didn't you wake me up before?" Now he would have no time to get ready.

"I did!" Tidus insisted. "But then you tried to suffocate me with a pillow so I had to run away."

Roxas narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "I thought that was a dream… a damn good dream, too."

Tidus scowled, "Gee, _thanks,_ Roxas," he said sarcastically in falsetto, clutching the left side of his chest dramatically, sending himself up, "Your words of love and devotion mean the world to me! I don't know how you do it but I now have a sudden urge to-"

"Shut the fuck _up_." Roxas stared at him in disbelief, as Tidus froze mid-sentence. He shook his head and muttered that he would only be a minute.

"Alright," Tidus said. "The van's outside. Oh, and we already put your bag on it," he added.

Roxas sighed. Great. Now he had no clean clothes to put on. He would have to go outside in the boxers and flannel shirt he had slept in. Well that was just bloody fantastic. He groaned and slapped a hand to his forehead at the mere thought of being in front of that paedo Adam in such a state. Today had not started off well.

He made his way towards the door but was stopped by Tidus.

He frowned, "What?"

"Aren't you gonna get dressed?"

"I thought you just said my stuff was already loaded on to the bus." He blinked sharply in confusion. Tidus really did befuddle him sometimes.

"It is."

"So… Are you trying to tell me that my bag is on the bus but it is empty and my clothes are in fact cleverly hidden somewhere in this room?"

"Pssh. What kind of an idiot do you take me for?" Roxas opened his mouth to reply but- "On second thoughts, don't answer that." Tidus grinned and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Kairi told me to take some clean clothes out for you. They're over there." He gestured over to the end of Roxas' bed.

Damn. How could he have missed them?

Roxas proceeded to change into the clean clothes Tidus had, thankfully, left out for him, grumbling about how stupid Tidus was to have not told him straight away but silently praising that good lord in heaven that he wouldn't have to go out there in the clothes he had slept in. A niggling voice in the back of his mind told him that he wouldn't have been able to do it anyway, not when there was a certain red-head on that bus, but he chose to ignore it. He bent his knees slightly to examine his reflection. He was thankful for the fact that the what-goes-with-what section of Tidus' brain was functioning properly and he had laid out some decent clothes that didn't clash.

Tidus tutted. "Who are you gussying up for now?" he asked, smirking.

Roxas snorted, "No one." He lied. _Was_ he lying? If he was perfectly honest; he didn't have a flipping clue. He knew that he wanted to look good, but he didn't know why. "How can you tell me off for checking my hair, Mr. I-Won-Most-Metro-Sexual-In-Superlatives?"

"Whatever. If I were you I wouldn't bother. I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but that red-head was definitely checking you out yesterday."

Roxas' head shot up like a bullet, "Really?"

Tidus laughed, "Ooh, you sound so _hopeful_!" he teased, "Well, let's just say he didn't take his eyes off you for the whole of Jess's weird speech thing."

Roxas nodded and sighed at his reflection; it looked like the "Just Got Out Of Bed" look would be sticking with him today. Not that he cared. Why would he? He had absolutely no reason to look good today, no reason at all. Especially not a red-headed reason. No. Way.

He mentally screamed at his brain to shut up and stop being so stupid. Honestly, sometimes he wondered if he had some sort of cricket-thing in a top hat and tailcoat living inside his mind and constantly giving him a running commentary on his life. Right now it seemed to be muttering on about denial not just being a river in Egypt. Why the _hell _did it have a Jamaican accent?

Tidus grinned mischievously at him as they both made their way out of the damp log cabin and over to the fluorescent orange bus. Jess was tapping her foot impatiently and leaning again the side of it. When she noticed them she pointed at her watch and tutted, "Had a good lie in, Roxas?"

Roxas just rolled his eyes and ignored her. He stepped onto the bus. Kairi waved at him from the back, there was an empty seat either side of her, and gestured for him to come and sit down. Tidus pushed lightly past him, winking as he sat down next to a delighted Selphie who immediately flung her arms around his neck. Poor guy. He nodded at Sora and Zexion, the former waved at him enthusiastically and the latter smiled wanly as though he had only just realised that he was condemned to sit with the hyper brunette for the next four hours.

Roxas had to admit that he did think it was stupid for them to go on a four hour journey just to get to a certain lake when there were a whole host of perfectly sufficient lakes a hell of a lot nearer. He had never voiced this opinion, however, for fear of being 'thrown to the lions'. It was an old Camp Adventure saying and only those that it had happened to knew exactly what it meant and they had been too traumatised to tell anyone else what it was. To be honest, Roxas really didn't want to find out if he could help it.

"…such a pervert, Riku. Stop staring at him."

"I _wasn't staring_. I was just- hey, Roxas is here. I swear Axel is gonna…"

The rest of the conversation between Demyx and Riku was lost to him, partly because he had moved past them and partly because he didn't want to hear anymore. He really didn't want to know who Riku was being accused of perving on, what they were going to say about him or what Axel was supposedly going to do.

He rolled his eyes as he past Tidus and Selphie playing and endless, slow game of tonsil tennis, though he did resist the urge to yell 'get a fucking room'.

"For fuck's sake, Axel! Do I _need_ a reason? Just switch seats with me!" Larxene whispered angrily, smacking the red-head over the head.

"I said _no._ I can't sit next to him!"

Larxene muttered something incoherent under her breath; the only words Roxas caught were 'sexy', 'bed hair' and 'fuck'. He bit his bottom lip as he accidentally caught Axel's eye. He didn't know what to do. It was like one of those moments in a film when everything slows down and every second seems to last a lifetime. He wanted to break the eye contact but he couldn't seem to bring himself to. Then, Axel did it for him. The red-head turned so he was now staring out of the window, completely expressionless. Roxas really needed to work out how to pull off an expressionless face.

The blond sat down in between the still muttering Larxene and Kairi, the latter patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. He smiled weakly at her and was about to initiate a conversation when Jess interrupted him.

"Right, my over-baked scones! Nice to see you all looking bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for the day ahead." She grinned around at their tired faces. "Adam is supposed to do a safety lecture," Adam made to stand up but Jess shoved him back into his seat, "but we don't want you to die of _boredom_." She smirked. "Leon is gonna drive so be nice to him because now he is not allowed to fall asleep or drink the booze." Adam cleared his throat and pointedly frowned at her in a disproving manner. "…Not that we _have_ any," she added sheepishly, rubbing her right forearm.

The occupants of the minibus suddenly seemed ever so slightly worried for their safety.

"So!" she clapped her hands together and grinned at them.

Roxas felt really quite intimidated. He suspected that what Larxene was muttering mutinously under her breath wasn't helping him feel any better. He glanced sideways at her; she glared at him, then smirked and whispered something to Axel. The red-head gulped then nodded, returned to his gazing out of the window.

Roxas looked down at his hands, digging at a hangnail on his left thumb absentmindedly. He really wanted to know what Larxene had said to Axel. His mind was capable of coming up with several ideas of what it could have been, each one more ridiculous than the last. What was the point in guessing something like that, anyway? He knew that it was probably something about him but that was the only clue he had. There was only a very minuscule chance that he could guess correctly. And he didn't care anyway. So what was the point? He. Didn't. Care.

Bah. Who was he kidding?

"Roxas. Don't get your phone out." Kairi whispered urgently, gripping his arm tightly.

Roxas frowned, "What? Sorry, I was spacing out. You want my phone?" he reached into his pocket and pulled it out.

"_NO!_ Put it away!" she hissed. "Jess is coming round and taking them off us and-"

"Phones, please."

Roxas looked up to see Jess holding a bag out to them and grinning evilly. The bag already held seven phones, because Selphie always _needed_ two phones. He snorted at the thought of Selphie without even one of her phones - a babbling nervous wreak came pretty close.

As he deposited his cell phone into the bag Jess held in her outstretched hands, he smirked at the thought of Hayner not being able to make contact with him for the remainder of this trip. Having not known that they would have their phones confiscated Roxas had failed to mention in their urgent conversation last night that this would be the last time they would be able to talk for the next week. Poor old Hayner.

Kairi reluctantly handed over her phone after trying to make Jess believe that she didn't have it with her, she scowled and crossed her arms in annoyance afterwards. Axel's was quick to follow. Larxene gave hers to Jess along with a scathing look and a death threat. Jess grinned wickedly at them all and skipped back to the front of the bus. She chucked the bag at her seat precariously - Larxene's lip curled in amusement as it connected with the side of Adam's head. Both Axel and Roxas snorted into their laps causing them to look at each other in surprise and alarm. Axel smirked slightly and Roxas raised his eyebrows: that smirk had changed. Only slightly, perhaps, but Roxas still noticed. He could remember every detail about that- no. No, he mustn't think about that. Not here. Not now.

"What's she doing now?" Kairi asked, nudging him with her pointy elbow.

Roxas raised an eyebrow in mild interest and looked down the aisle.

"Handing out…paper?" he hazarded a guess.

Kairi merely looked bewildered, "What _for? _To write down our thoughts? Pssh. Yeah right! _Day Two, six fifteen in the morning._ _I am seriously pissed off right now. I feel like I am on my frickin' period and that my PMS is at its worst. I also feel as though I have just seen my boyfriend cheating on me with the rest of my school- and yes, I am aware that I am currently single. I am not going to use my anger in a positive way like Mahatma Gandhi. Instead, I am going to punch someone until they can't find the location of their own arsehole. _Is she serious?"

"Jesus, Kai. Calm _down_. Take a chill pill."

"Fuck off, Tidus."

Tidus glanced at Roxas mouthing, "what the hell?" Roxas just shrugged in reply. Tidus rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to a babbling Selphie. Roxas looked back at Kairi who was silently fuming in her seat, her mouth moving wordlessly.

"What's up with you? Is this just about Jess taking your phone away?"

"Yes," her eye twitched, "I have pictures on there."

Roxas wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Gross, Kairi," he muttered.

"Not _those _type of pictures! You have a sick mind, my friend."

He snorted and grinned at her.

"Come on, you two. We don't have all day."

They looked up to see Jess waving several sheets of paper under their noses. She shook it at them before giving up and throwing it at them instead. It could have been caused by the lurch forward as Leon started up the minibus, but Roxas knew that she had just got bored of waiting.

"Right, my cherry lumps! This paper is for you to write home or wherever you want to write to. You come to me for stamps and envelopes. I don't trust you with them…"

Roxas raised his eyebrows at Kairi who just rolled her kohl-rimmed eyes in an annoyed fashion.

"Wave goodbye, kids!" Adam yelled over his shoulder cheerfully. He was the only one wearing his seatbelt.

"We're not fucking kids! Retard." Larxene screamed at him.

Roxas had to clench his jaw to prevent himself from shifting away from her, he didn't think that insulting her would be a good idea.

"Let's sing a song!" Adam suggested brightly, "Let's see…" he paused to think, "Aha! _Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye! Cheerio_-"

"Adam. We are not going to war."

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"Okay." Adam paused to think, "Aha! _Everywhere we go-oh! Everywhere we go-oh! People always ask us, _join in, kids!"

The occupants of the minibus - excluding Adam - remained silent.

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"Alright, I've got it! _There was a yellow bird_!"

"_With a yellow bill_!" Demyx joined in enthusiastically.

After a sharp a sharp backslap from Riku, the occupants of the minibus - excluding Adam - remained silent.

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"_There are nine million bicycles in Beijing_!"

The occupants of the minibus - excluding Adam - remained silent.

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"You'll all know this one! _Ten green bottles sitting on a wall. Ten green bottles sitting on a wall. And if one green bottle should accidentally fall, they'll be nine green bottles sitting on the wall_. Altogether now! _Nine green bottles sitting on a wall_…"

The occupants of the minibus - excluding Adam - remained silent.

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"_99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall_!"

"_98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall_!"

"_97 bottles_-"

"OKAY" WE GET IT!" Larxene shrieked, causing Adam to cower in his seat despite the distance between them.

"This has got to be the worst journey in the history of the world." Kairi mumbled, her head flopping wearily onto Roxas' shoulder.

Roxas grimaced, as Adam broke into a chorus of _Amazing Grace_ - complete with a warbling voice. "You said it."

"My legs are numb," she moaned.

"We've only been sitting down for, oohh… two and a half hours. Just another two to go."

The auburn-haired girl groaned and began repeatedly banging her cranium again the seat in front of her. Riku's head shot up in alarm, he rolling his eyes in annoyance when he realised why the backrest of his seat was moving. Perhaps he thought that something exciting was finally happening. If only he were right.

There was a loud screech of tyres and the minibus veered off the motorway into a service station.

Selphie and Tidus, still lip locked, rammed into the seat in front of them, Axel's head - forced by Larxene's hands - smacked against the window, Kairi grabbed Roxas and they both fell safely onto the empty seat next to her, Sora yelped and flung himself at Zexion who, cleverly, had managed to get into the brace position and Riku curled up into a protective ball and rolled off his seat.

And that, my friends, is why you should always wear a seatbelt.

"Jess! Never grab the steering wheel like that again!" Adam scolded, safely buckled into his seat still. "Are you alright kids?"

"Stop worrying, Adam. _Relax. _They're fine. And if I hadn't made Leon turn in here he would have actually fallen asleep as he has been threatening to do for the last hour and a half. And I don't think it was your singing that caused it. He needs coffee to err… stimulate him."

"I see." Adam said, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Do you now?"

"I do."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"You sure about that?"

"Indubitably."

"Bah. You have no idea."

Roxas watched the conversation wearily. He had long since began to wonder if _Camp Adventure_ might have become _Camp Insane - For People Who Are Not Quite "All There" In Their Mind._

Leon parked the minibus almost flawlessly and collapsed onto the steering wheel, scowling at the dancing moogle attached to the dashboard.

"Okay. Coffee time!" Jess announced.

Everyone started picking himself or herself up off the floor or rubbing the sore part of their body which would probably be nice and purple in a few minutes.

"Woah! Where do you think you're going?" Jess asked, stopping them from exiting the minibus.

"Errm, Starbucks?" Tidus suggested, pointing at the green and white coffee house in the service station. "You said it was coffee time."

"Yeah, but I didn't say you could come with me."

Demyx promptly fell out of his seat.

Axel snorted, "Talk about a delayed reaction," he muttered to a smirking Larxene who burst into a peel of laughter.

The corners of Roxas' mouth twitched up into an amused smile without him realising it.

"I want cream." Leon stated as Jess leapt off the minibus and galloped towards Starbucks. He rolled his eyes and flicked the dancing moogle off the dashboard. It rolled around the floor of the minibus, bounced down the stairs and went off to seek its fortune.

A long half hour later, Jess returned carrying only three cups. She handed one to Leon who grabbed it and quickly took a large gulp as though his life depended on it. He was probably imagining a nine-foot-tall guy with a red beard brandishing a hefty axe standing behind him, ready to strike if he didn't drink. Or maybe not. Leon frowned and looked at the cup suspiciously then looked at Jess blankly.

"This is a Grande Americano with two sugars and no milk." He stated.

Jess blinked at him. "…and?"

Leon's expression didn't change. "I wanted a Venti caramel crème Frappuccino."

"I know." She shrugged. "Say, Leon, do 'student loans' and 'a tight budget' mean anything to you?" she questioned, smirking slightly.

He rolled his eyes and started gulping his coffee down. Jess grinned and turned to face the back of the bus.

"Adam, pass me that bottle of water." She pointed to the three quarters full two-litre bottle of Evian under her seat. He shot her a quizzical look before picking it up and passing it to her. She thanked him cheerfully and unscrewed the top. Roxas wondered how one tall coffee was going to go round eleven people. Jess had already given one to Leon (it was now non-existent) and secured a Grande cappuccino with chocolate sprinkles for herself. His thoughts were soon answered as she poured the third cup into the water bottle, effectively making two litres of lukewarm, heavily diluted coffee.

Beside him, Kairi shuffled in her seat, muttering something about diluted coffee and insufficient pick-me-ups. Roxas was almost too bored to sympathise.

"Here you are, my undercooked cupcakes!" Jess held the bottle out to Sora who grabbed it off her eagerly. "Make sure everyone gets some."

**-p-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k-**

"I can't believe you drugged it!" Roxas stared at the cackling Jess in disbelief. All around him the occupants of the minibus were snoozing deeply. Only Leon, Jess and himself remained conscious as Roxas had refused to drink any of the so called 'coffee' and Jess had obviously only drugged what neither Leon nor herself would be drinking.

"Yes, I do think it was one of my less brilliant ideas." She admitted thoughtfully. "Don't you think Leon?"

Leon's eyes were wide and slightly dull as he stared at the road in his coffee stimulated consciousness. Needless to say, he did not reply.

"He had extra caffeine in his." Jess explained to Roxas, winking.

Roxas raised his eyebrows and made a noise halfway between and snort and laughter. Jess shot him a strange look bit otherwise took no notice. She patted the empty seat beside her (Adam had long since had his seatbelt removed and been pushed onto the floor).

He nodded warily and made his way up to the front of the minibus. He didn't particularly want to sit next to her - in fact, he would rather have jumped into a pit of blood-thirsty moogles - but if he didn't she might do something scary… like castrate him. Ouch, he should have thought that.

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas." Jess muttered, tapping her chin with her left index finger.

"…Y-Yes?" he stammered nervously. He couldn't help but predict that she was about to launch into a truly awful and embarrassing interrogation, it just seemed like the kind of thing she would do. The fact that she was flicking the on/off switch of her shiny yellow torch probably wasn't helping. He could just imagine her imitating the dripping of water coming through a hole in the roof of the dark room with the swinging light - why did interrogation rooms always look like that in films? Surely they must have a higher budget than that.

"Tell me all, my trampled sandcastle." She drawled, turning to face him, sitting cross-legged and resting her pointy chin on her right palm.

Damn. He should never have even let the thought cross his mind. Wait. Maybe she was just trying to trick him into telling her all his deepest, darkest secrets (like the swimming event in second grade that we do not dare speak of) and then say something like 'well, that sure was interesting but I actually wanted to know why you came on this trip.' For now, it was best to play the idiot.

"Tell you what?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him, unconvinced. "About you and Axel, of course!" she exclaimed. "There is obviously _something _going on between you. I mean, he was practically undressing you with his eyes yesterday and you've been sneaking glances at each other when you thought that no one was looking for the whole journey."

"I-I think you might be over ex-"

"Shh." She held a hand up to silence him. "Now tell me, is it just 'ooh, man, I really wanna bang him' or are you two star cross'd lovers willing to lay down your lives-"

"Don't start quoting Romeo and Juliet, now." Leon protested, turning sharply into the third lane.

"I wouldn't have expected you to know that was from Romeo and Juliet…" Jess' eyebrows rose up in surprise.

He shrugged it off, "Eh, some people like the cheesy stuff like that."

"Ah, got you." She grinned. "Anyway. Roxas?"

He blinked at her. Once. Twice. Three times.

"I'll take that as a yes." She decided.

"NO!" Roxas cried, snapping out of his state of silence. "No, no, nonooo… I- we're- there's nothing going on. I swear."

"Hmm… So, has something already _happened_ then?"

"Um, not exactly." He scratched the back of his head nervously. Damn her. Stop asking questions.

"What exactly?" she noticed him hesitate. "Roxas, darling, I promise you that I won't do anything with the juicy goss- the information you give me and that I will not tell a soul."

Roxas did not trust her one bit but he really didn't want to find out what 'being thrown to the lions' involved.

"Well, um, we used be friends a while ago but, um, now we're not," he said simply.

Jess coughed. "Don't expect me to believe that's all there is to it, I'm not _Adam_."

"Gah. Fine." Roxas babbled on for a good ten minutes, barely pausing to breathe. This wasn't a story he liked telling and not one he told often or lightly. Yet here he was telling it to a loud, untrustworthy, gossiping stranger who would most likely use it to blackmail him. What was happening to him? Was just being around Axel making him lose it? No, don't be ridiculous, he wasn't losing it. Of course he wasn't. He was still perfectly sane.

…so, why was he telling her this? Oh yeah, blackmail. Or something like that.

"So," she concluded, "you're telling me that you dated him, he got famous and didn't give you the attention you wanted so you cheated on him."

Roxas scratched his cheek sheepishly, it sounded really stupid and pathetic when she put it like that. "Well, basically, yeah."

She burst out laughing, rocking in her seat and clutching her sides weakly. Roxas was completely baffled. Was it really that funny? In fact, was it funny at all? Hayner hadn't laughed when he had told him about it, neither had Kairi. He hadn't told his parents or anyone else _exactly_ what had happened but they weren't stupid, they knew not to mention that name around him. Sora, the paper, the radio and the television however, did not.

"You're even worse than I thought!" she chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas exclaimed.

"Well, I didn't imagine you to be the type to cheat on someone." She stopped laughing and semi-glared at him accusingly.

Was this woman seriously going to give him a lesson in morality? "I- I- I know I shouldn't have done-"

"Yes, dear." She cut across him. "I think you had better have some of that coffee and go to sleep." She patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "And don't worry, I won't repeat this to anyone, and I'll do my best to keep any awkward situations that might rise at bay."

Roxas' mouth twitched into an uncertain smile; if she wasn't telling the truth she was a damn good actress. He picked up the bottle, took a large swig - shuddered at the taste - and made his way back to his seat in between Kairi and Larxene. His eyes flickered to Axel's sleeping form. He hoped that Jess would keep her word; he didn't want to make the situation worse than it already was.

Meanwhile, Jess folded her arms and nodded her proud head at Leon triumphantly. "Leon, this is going to be the best week in the history of your time at Camp Adventure."

Leon snorted and let a grin slip onto his features. "I don't think that's possible," he retorted.

"I wouldn't be so sure. I am going to have so much fun, the people on the other side of the world will be wheezing with laughter."

**-xxx-**

**Author's Note: **Hurray for thirteen page updates! Hurray for reviews! Hurray for awesome chapters! Hurray for not getting writers block! Hurray for writing most of this chapter whist watching _Romeo and Juliet_, _Gladiator_, _There's Something about Mary_ and the first disc of _Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_ extended version.

Hurray for anyone who reviews this chapter!

Read, review, party, enjoy life,

nirii xx


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